


Broken window

by 2strangefangirl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Death, M/M, Mental Instability, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-29
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-09-13 03:16:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9104290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2strangefangirl/pseuds/2strangefangirl
Summary: When struggling Castiel gets his window broken by a heart broken Dean Winchester in the heart of winter what happens when neither of them can afford to fix it? find out what happens when these two live together for a month: Will they be able to help mend each other, or will they pull each other down into their own demons





	

**Author's Note:**

> this is not finished and has mentions of suicide, and I swear the grammar is better than in the summary (im not good at making summaries)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When a struggling Castiel finds his window broken by a grieving and heart broken Dean in the heart of winter he has to stay with the attractive stranger when neither of them can afford to fix this. now the question is: can they help mend each other or will their inner demons tear them down?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has mentions of suicide and there might be smut later on in the chapters. I swear that the actual story is probably better than the summary.

Castiel unhappily awoke from another dreamless sleep. He groaned and shivered at the cold air which quickly numbed his body. He wrapped his blanket tighter around himself, not wanting to face reality yet. He finally convinced himself he had to get up, no matter how unprepared for the real world. Castiel walked into the bathroom to take a quick shower before stopping to look at himself in the mirror. The bags under his eyes visible due to decreasing amounts of sleep. He ran a hand up and down his jawline, feeling the stubble he couldn’t be bothered to shave off. 

Castiel opened the medicine cabinet before being hit with the memory that he was out of pills. He sighed, looking disgustingly towards his wrist where his sleeve had rolled up to display the ugly marred and mutilated skin peeking through the cuff of the blue sweat shirt he had slept in. Castiel closed his medicine cabinet and glared at his reflection, he glared at his red puffy and bloodshot eyes. He tore his eyes from his reflection before he could spiral deeper into judgement of himself.

He pulled back the dirty white curtain from the old tub and turned on the water and watched as it poured through the rusty shower head. He dropped his sweat pants before stripping off his shirt and using all of his willpower to direct his gaze anywhere but the self inflicted scars that lined his thighs and arms, looking at the unequally aligned tiles on the wall next to his shower. The noise of the city along with the constant sound of the water coming from the shower head and coming into contact with his body and warming his skin was calming and relaxed Castiel. 

He reached for the body soap and poured it into his hand while fighting the urge to glance over. He stared out of the small rectangular window to the foggy night sky while he rubbed the soap up and down his body, feeling the occasional ridge on the skin indicating a stretch mark or a scar, not knowing which, and being too scared to see caused him to flinch every time he felt his fingers crossed a bump or rise in his skin and was rendered helpless as memories flooded his mind when he remembered putting them there.

Once Castiel washed the soap off of his body, he didn’t make a move to get out as he stood under the warm water, enjoying the short moment of peace. Thinking that if he just stood there long enough the world would become less chaotic than the jumbled horrifying mess it is. He imagined what it would be like to just have things return to the way they once were, but alas, they could not. He couldn’t fight the urge anymore and dropped his head, raking his eyes up and down his body, observing the ugly scars that adorned his under feed anatomy.

Castiel sighed as he turned off the constant flow of water and silently got out, listening to the dripping of the water before it trickled down and eventually stopped. He avoided his reflection and kept his eyes glued to the floor in front of his feet as he walked towards his bedroom and tried to find some clothes. He gently padded his way across the almost barren living room before he entered his plain bedroom. He easily opened the drawers of his small dresser due to lack of clothing. He sighed and tried to riffle through the drawers to find some suitable clothes. 

Castiel pulled out a pair of plaid boxers and some sweatpants, after pulling on the garments he went to search for a shirt or a jacket. After finding an old grey hoodie hidden in the corner of his bedroom he pulled it on and walked into the kitchen for a glass of water. 

 

Castiel opened up one of his cupboards and grabbed at a cup, willing his sleeve not to roll down. He successfully wrapped his hand around a cup and brought it over to the sink without catching visual reminders of the scars. He was about to fill the cup before he heard a noise. A shattering sound followed by the distinct racket of glass hitting the wooden floor. 

Castiel looked up to see the only window in his living room, broken. There was a huge ragged hole in the center, lined with thin inter-crossing lines, cutting across the glass. Castiel was frozen, he couldn’t begin to process what happened, yet there was no denying it, the evidence of what had happened was too much to ignore, the shattered window, the shards of glass spread out as far as his bedroom door, and an old baseball with multiple torn stitches and a piece of glass sticking out of it.

Just as Castiel was coming out of whatever daze he was in, a cold blast of December air hit his body, causing his frame to become racked in a series of chills as his teeth started to chatter. Castiel had to physically fight the strong wind pouring into his apartment. Castiel glanced through the hole in his window and looked down. He quickly backed up before any dangerous thoughts came to him. Castiel inspected the broken window for about two seconds before deciding it was out of his price range to fix. 

Just as Castiel was imagining how unattractive his duck tape covered window would be he heard a sharp whistle that directed his gaze towards where the sound could’ve originated. Castiel scanned through the windows of surrounding apartments before he saw a man frantically waving his arms. Castiel couldn’t make out much of any characteristics except for tan skin and sandy colored hair. His eyes looked like they were recently dried and his nose was slightly red, almost as if he had been crying. 

Castiel heard the man say that he would be over to his apartment and asked what number his door was labeled with. Castiel quickly replied while stumbling over his words and watched as the man disappeared within his apartment. Castiel was starting to worry and feel the stress flowing through his body in waves with numbness and anxiety following in its wake. Before a full blown anxiety attack could overtake Castiel he heard a frantic knocking at his door. When Castiel opened the door he saw the sandy haired stranger standing at the door, shaking slightly. 

“I’m Dean,” the man spoke while holding out his hand with an apologetic tone to his voice. His face was pointed towards the floor and from what Castiel could see his facial features were contorted into a look that was a mix of guilt and regret. 

“I-I’m C-Castiel,” he spoke, while stuttering over his words, equally due to the cold December air and the fear of not knowing how he was going to fix this.

Dean must’ve seen the fear cross Castiels face, Dean wore a curious look and his eyes flashed with sympathy. “Hey, Cas, can I come in so we can switch insurance info?” Dean asked gently. Castiel simply nodded, eyes blank as he stepped to the side of the door, he just stared at the floor in front of his bare feet while he listened to Deans footsteps gently pad against the wooden floors to his kitchen.

Dean visibly shivered as goosebumps climbed up his neck out of his collar. “Damn,” Dean said, “it’s freezing in here.” His teeth started chattering together halfway through his statement. Castiel was feeling somewhat guilty, it was only a small difference from what his apartment usually felt like. “Do you have a heater in here?” Dean asked while vigorously rubbing his hands up and down his arms trying to warm them. Castiel eyed the old rusted heater and inwardly sighed at the cobwebs coating it.

“Sorry,” Castiel stated with tired eyes and a blank face, “I haven’t used my heater in ages, I could grab you a blanket though.” Castiel turned towards his room to go and grab Dean the duvet off his bed, and maybe find himself a thicker jacket. As he was about to walk to his bedroom Dean spoke up. “No, no, you don’t have to do that, besides, I’m the one who broke your window, I can handle a little winter chill.” A shiver racked Deans body less than a second after he said that. Castiel tried to hide the fact that the cold was affecting him too, but Dean seemed to notice the small amount of chattering the cold was causing his teeth to do. 

“Hey, you okay?” Dean questioned with a concerned look. His gentle sympathetic tone made Castiel show a weak, but genuine, smile. Castiel slowly shook his head up and down in small movements before replying with “Yes I’m fine, just a little cold. I don’t know if you know this but my window’s broken.” Castiel said letting some humor flow through his words while smiling at Dean to let him know he wasn’t upset. Dean seemed taken aback, Castiel didn’t seem like one to joke around. After the moment of confusion washed over Dean he let out a warm chuckle that made Castiels cheeks heat red and his small smile grow. 

Castiel liked it when Dean laughed, it made him smile, this complete stranger had made Castiel smile and joke around, something he hadn't done in ages. Castiel was comfortable around Dean, and he didn’t know why, it was just something about him. Castiel was just smiling at Dean and staring at him through squinted eyes before Dean looked around the small almost bare apartment with a small flash of emotion across his face. It was gone quickly enough though and replaced by one of the most dazzling smiles Castiel had seen in awhile, when Castiel offered Dean some coffee and went to go grab a mug from one of his cupboards. 

Dean watched as Castiel reached up to grab one of the mugs and studied the small patch of skin that had poked out from beneath his sweat shirt. Dean felt his eyes sadden as his facade washed away while the man's back was turned to him. His eyes landed on a stretch of scar tissue that had etched its way onto Castiels back when he had to stand up on his toes in order to reach one of the coffee mugs. Dean offered to help but Castiel had quickly blown him off saying he needed to take care of his guest, even though Dean insisted. 

Another cold blast of wind blew in through the gaping window, hitting Castiel across the back causing both him and Dean to shiver. Dean had seen the rusty and obviously unused heater, it was near December and Castiel was wearing warm clothes when he opened the door and when Dean had seen him from the window, so that means either Castiel was trying to save money, or he didn’t have the money to afford the heater in the first place. Dean knew the signs of when someone was struggling well enough, no matter how well you hid it. 

Dean didn’t want this man to suffer, this poor stranger who he had grown a liking to in the short time that he had know him. Castiel may freeze in this apartment if he couldn’t get the window fixed, and from the looks of it, Castiel couldn’t afford it. Dean did the only-well maybe not the only-thing he could think of to solve this situation. Dean didn’t want Castiel to stay in this apartment, Dean was worried about him, he didn’t want him to be alone. 

“Castiel, hey, um,” Dean said looking away from Castiel who was filling up a second glass of water for himself, “I-I don’t think I can afford to fix this window until my next paycheck comes in.” Dean said while looking at the floor. Castiel had just set down the glasses onto the counter top of the island when Dean had confessed this. Castiels knees wobbled and he felt faint. He started sweating despite the cold, and he had to lean on the island to keep himself upright. 

Dean felt terrible for what he said as he witnessed the color drain from Castiels face. Castiel was in a panic and trying, terribly, to hide it. Castiel didn’t know what he was gonna do, he was going to freeze. He already shook from the cold when he was under the covers in his bed, he didn’t know if he could survive it if there were cold winds blowing through the house. Dean cleared his throat and looked at Castiel, trying to make their eyes connect. Just as Dean was about to speak another frigid blast of icy air rolled into the room and filled the apartment. 

“You’re going to freeze.” Dean stated with an urgent and sympathetic tone. Dean watched as his breath rose in a white fog in front of his face due to the temperature. “Come stay with me,” Dean said quickly. He didn’t regret saying it, Dean hoped Castiel would agree the moment the offer escaped his lips. Dean paused to take in the realization of what he had just done. Dean thought about how he had just invited a stranger to come and live with him for almost a month. “ Until I get my next paycheck.” Dean stated as reassurance that he hadn’t just asked Castiel to move in with him. 

Castiels face scrunched up momentarily before a range of multiple emotions flashed across his features. Confusion, quickly followed by a mix of happiness and thankfulness, suddenly replaced by a cold look of desperation and hunger, before returning to his original sullen and blank look, but something was different this time. It was as if his eyes showed more of him, sadness and hope, blending together, almost as if the two feelings were battling each other to see which one would win and take over Castiels mind. 

An emotion of sincerity and determination filled Dean, he was not going to let this amazing person-no matter how long he had known him- die, especially if Dean himself was the cause. Castiel turned around and leaned against the island, his hands stretched out behind him to support his weight. Dean couldn’t see his face but the next words Castiel spoke sounded like he had about given up but found new hope. The word sounded hopeful and oh so tired at the same time. “Okay,” Castiel sighed, almost sounding defeated. “I’ll come stay with you.” Castiel stood up and turned to face Dean, his eyes looking more exhausted than they had when Dean had first seen them. 

Dean felt the smile grow on his face as he felt relief flow through him, swiftly replacing the heavy burden of guilt and worry that had been heavily pressing on his shoulders. He was glad that he could help and keep an eye on this man and help him get along in any way possible. Castiel had a small smile stretched onto his lips to show Dean that he wasn’t inconvenienced by the change in housing, and was not upset or annoyed. 

Dean jumped out of bar stool he had moved to and told Castiel to grab his things. Dean waited happily at Castiels door while he listened to the occasional shuffling and bumping of objects, coming from Castiels room. Dean didn’t have to wait long before Castiel emerged from the doorway of his room with a blue backpack and wearing a second jacket due to the cold winds that were more frequently blowing into the apartment. Dean motioned for Castiel to come along while holding open the door for him. Castiel looked down and hurriedly scampered through the door with a hint of pink covering his cheeks. 

Castiel was so flustered he almost forgot the keys to his apartment, if Dean hadn’t asked about him locking his door he never would’ve remembered. Dean watched with a goofy grin adorning his face as Castiel skittishly rushed back into the apartment. Castiel threw his body across the island in the kitchen that they had been sitting at not so long ago, and grabbed his keys from an empty fruit basket before quickly trotting over to Dean. Dean laughed at the childish behavior that had taken over Castiel. Castiel looked up at Dean, who was still laughing, with an adorable lopsided smile. 

Castiel looked down to the carpeted floor of the hallway as he followed Dean towards his apartment. Castiel was about to walk straight into a wall when he felt Dean grab his shoulders and gently turned him around. Castiel kept his head down and Dean kept his hand on his shoulder. Dean moved from both hands on Castiels shoulders to one arm draped across him to guide Castiel towards the apartment they would both be living in for a month.


End file.
